Procrastination & Other Ways We Self Sabotage
Procrastination is a form of creative avoidance, which is one way we avoid working towards our goals. This desire to put off what we are working on is caused by our sabotaging identities, a subconscious part of us. These sabotaging identities are designed to keep you the same as you’ve always been because even if you don’t enjoy feeling those emotions associated with the way you’ve always been, these emotions are familiar and it identifies everything that’s familiar as safe.
Where do sabotaging identities come from?
At one point in your life (under the age of 7), these identities were actually helpful for you. For example, my primary sabotaging identity makes me think I’m not good enough. When I was 3-4 years old, this was beneficial because it kept me striving to be better and pushing myself to learn more and more. This identity is the reason why I could read at a 3rd grade level on my first day of kindergarten – it gave me a high level of motivation to be a better person. Over time I have grown more and more but that identity has stayed the same. Fast forward 32 years and this identity which used to be beneficial is now holding me back because when I am working on things, it has become the voice of my inner critic telling me that I’m not good enough or I’m not smart enough.
This is the same for all six of the sabotaging identities – what used to help us is now holding us back. When you know what your particular sabotaging identity is, you can start to work with it so that it’s no longer running you! Besides identifying which sabotaging identity is holding you back, it’s important to recognize the ways you’re holding yourself back. When you recognize these patterns, you can use them as a cue to understand when your sabotaging identity has taken over!
In addition to procrastination, other common ways we self sabotage include:
- Chronic worrying: People tend to get stuck in a cycle of chronic worrying because it gives a sense of control over a situation. When something is out of your control, worrying can give us the illusion that we can do something about a certain situation. This in the end causes more harm than good however, causing more stress and anxiety than is needed.
- People pleasing: Sometimes we make decisions based on how it will make others feel. This can be self sabotaging as when we are in this mindset we aren’t making decisions or doing things based on what we want and we are holding ourselves back based on how we think this will make others react to us.
- Confusion: This is the sneakiest way we sabotage ourselves! By going into confusion and telling ourselves “I don’t know how to …” we are preventing ourselves from having to make a tough decision. Sure there are times that we don’t actually know, but it’s often that we use this as an excuse so we don’t have to move forward on our goals.
How can we reduce our self sabotage?
- Join my Empowered Living Membership! I will teach you all about the six sabotaging identities, how to spot them when they’re holding you back and what you can do to reduce the amount of self sabotage you’re experiencing. Plus so much more! Join now!
- Tap into your “big why:” Think about the deeper meaning for why you want something and return to that often. Your why is very important because it’s the motivation for everything that you do in life! When you recognize yourself in a self sabotage pattern take a step back and read your why statement to get tapped back into your power and take action.
- Connect with your higher self: Your higher self already has all of the answers. We can tune into our higher self by getting quiet and going within. Tap into that through meditation, walking in nature, journaling, or practicing gratitude. Any way that you get connected with your inner knowing is a great way to receive the necessary information from your higher self!
- Balance Your Masculine and Feminine Sides: Everyone has a dominant masculine or feminine nature. Masculine nature is active, external and often action taking. The feminine nature is more passive, thoughtful, creative and feeds internal energy. It’s important that we balance both of these energies so that one does not overpower the other. It’s very common in our culture to get stuck in masculine action taking mode and we get the best results when both of these sides are balanced. So ask yourself what feminine actions are you taking and how can you use them to support you in reducing your self sabotage!
How Meditation Changed My Life & Tips To Make Your Meditation Habit Stick
Meditation is a powerful tool that can totally change your life! I know because I am living proof of this – I wouldn’t be a coach today if it wasn’t for meditation! Read on to learn more story and tips on how to make your own meditation habit stick!
My Story:
I had heard from dozens of people “you need to meditate!” I was high strung, very stressed out and having regular anxiety/panic attacks. I decided that I didn’t want to live my life medicated any longer, so I went off my anti-anxiety meds and started looking for natural alternatives. After trying out many things, I found 2 things that worked and made a BIG difference: probiotics (read more here) and meditation!
The probiotics helped get my gut bacteria balanced out (there’s a lot of research showing link between microbiome imbalances and anxiety). The meditation helped me quiet my mind and unlocked many different doors that got me where I am today! At the time I started meditation, I was honestly afraid to be alone with my own thoughts. I was constantly overwhelmed and on the verge of falling apart. I had just experienced some significant health challenges due to a long term leg injury and gained 50+ pounds as the result of my inactivity. I was depressed, anxious, and desperate to find a way out.
I had just met my husband, an avid meditator for years at that point, and he saw that it was obvious I could use support in quieting my mind. He encouraged me to meditate and I told him I had already tried and it didn’t work. Although I had tried, I had the incorrect expectations and understanding around meditation, which made it a painful process. I would sit quietly and attempt to stop all my thoughts, and if you’ve ever meditated, you know that’s when your thoughts come loud and fast like a fire hose. I would sit there, struggling to stop my thoughts, getting frustrated at myself and feeling like I was wasting my time. This lead to more anxiety and I always came out of the meditation more stressed out then when I sat down. After more than a dozen attempts, I decided that meditation just wasn’t for me and wrote it off entirely.
The Turning Point:
My husband heard my struggles and supported me in understand that meditation isn’t simply about stopping your thoughts. It’s about being present in the moment and letting your thoughts float by without being attached to them. He taught me about mindfulness meditation which is about focusing on your breath as an anchor and place to put your attention so you don’t get wrapped up in your thoughts. Knowing that I still was having trouble with that, he started me off in a much better place – active meditation. Active meditation is simply doing a task that requires to conscious effort so you can get into a zen-like meditative state.
I started off with meditative coloring, crafting, nature walks and I loved it. When I was physically doing something, I found it easy to get to a calm place in my mind and let go of my thoughts. I practiced active meditation as much as I could and really enjoyed it… my mind had been changed about how great meditation can be! Then I graduated to short guided meditations (5-10 minutes). I would sit and listen to soothing voices as people narrated my meditation experience. It was so easy to get into a meditative state and I felt amazing at the end! They were so enjoyable that I found myself listening to longer and longer meditations and eventually working my way up for 30+ minutes! I started to notice immediately that I was a lot less stressed, less reactive to things that used to trigger me and was genuinely enjoying life more!
Finally I had found my groove in meditation! After months of this, I finally moved onto quiet self guided meditations. These are more advanced techniques, so if you can do this, give yourself a pat on the back! I would spend 10-15 minutes each day of quiet meditation. At the time many things in my life had improved, however I still found myself searching for answers. My job wasn’t bringing me any joy but I had no idea what my next step would be. My health challenges and extra weight left me feeling disempowered and doctors had literally told me I was “broken,” so I was sad about that. All of my answers came through my quiet meditations!
During my meditation, I would hear these divine whispers pointing me in the correct direction. I was really sick of feeling “broken” and one day a giant lightbulb clicked: I wrote million dollar grants for the National Institute of Health and did research for a living… why had I not looked at the research to address my personal health struggles?! I threw myself into deep research and went deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole, loving every second I was researching about health. Long story short is that through research I solved all my health problems, completely changed my life and inspired me to become a health coach to help others. Meditation had turned me onto my new life path that I had been longing for!
Why you should meditate too:
There is TONS of research out there sharing the amazing benefits of meditation. It helped me completely change my life path and the more I looked inward for guidance, the more clear it became where I was going in my life.
So many people I have talked with say that they don’t have time for meditation. I think you don’t have time to NOT meditate! Taking a few minutes per day to meditation has shown to increase your productivity and mental clarity throughout the day, which helps you be significantly more effective. Turning inward for guidance helps you focus on what’s important instead of wasting your time on things that don’t matter to you (like what I was doing in my dead end job and the bad habits I was doing to escape my terrible job). Meditation gave me hours back everyday and made me a much better, happier person!
I’ve made a compelling argument of why it’s beneficial to add meditation to your self care routine. However, sometimes it can be hard to start a new habit. The next trick is making the habit stick!
Here are some tips for how to get your meditation habit to stick:
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- Start with active & guided meditations!
- Active meditation is easy! It is doing things that get you into a relaxed meditative state. Coloring, nature walks, doing the dishes, crafting, anything where you zone out and lose yourself in an activity that doesn’t require your mind.
- There are thousands of guided meditations available for free that you can use! Check out youtube or one of the many meditation apps for more guided meditations.
- Start small = 2-5 minutes is enough to start!
- Many people think that you need to meditate for 15-30 minutes per day. While that’s a great place to be, it’s often not accessible for someone starting out a meditation habit. As little as 2-5 minutes done every single day make a big difference in your life!
- Be consistent = meditate daily!
- Just like any other habit, consistency matters much more than duration when you want to establish a new habit.
- Establish a daily routine!
- Creating time in your calendar for a daily meditation routine is a huge key to success! Remember that doing things in the morning is the best way to ensure that they’re getting completed each day.
- Identify yourself as a meditator!
- Identifying yourself as a meditator is a great way to trick your brain into making it easier to establish a regular habit!
- Start with active & guided meditations!
By following these tips you’ll be able to easily form a meditation practice that benefits you without feeling like you don’t have the time!
How is your self esteem? Here’s some self esteem boosting tips!
On a scale of 1-10, how high is your self esteem?
Having low self esteem can negatively affect many aspects of your life. It may interfere with normal day-to-day activities and even hinder your ability to create relationships. Low self esteem can affect both your personal and professional life in big ways. The good news is that there are ways that you can boost your self esteem!
Here are some things you can do to change your perception of yourself:
- Think positively and writing down 10 great things about yourself
- Reach out to loved ones and friends to ask them what they think your best qualities are
- Surround yourself with a positive and supportive people that are cheering you on
- Incorporate more physical exercise into your routine because exercise releases endorphins
- Do something with a purpose because helping others is a big boost in self esteem and gives you a greater sense of purpose in your life
- Plan and be proactive about what you need to focus on. Procrastinating or putting things off until the next day is a drain on self esteem and can make you feel overwhelmed
- Listen to your body – rest when you need to! We can often push ourselves which makes us feel drained and can cause us to focus on the negative aspect of ourselves.
- Make sure you eat right because nourishing your body is a necessity to have balanced emotions and mindset.
- Set time aside for yourself because self care is an essential aspect
If you’re having trouble looking on the bright side or want support in moving past some tough emotions, reach out to Kitty! She can help you start accepting and releasing the negative emotions and together we can start thinking creatively and help you figure out how to move past it!
Schedule a mindset coaching call with Kitty today!
Gratitude Guided Meditation
Gratitude is one of the most powerful things you can do to create a happy, balanced, peaceful life! This means it’s a great way to start the new year off on the right foot! Check out my amazing gratitude meditation focused on giving gratitude to your body!
How to set your year up for success!
It’s almost New Year’s Eve, so now is the perfect time to start thinking about 2022! What are some things you want to do differently this year? What are some improvements you want to make in your life this year? Here are some tips on how to set your year up for success!
- Reflect on the last year: Think about what worked and what didn’t work this past year. Was your self care lacking? Or maybe you didn’t get enough fruits and veggies in your diet. Try some of these journaling prompts to see what comes up for you and what you’d like to change in the new year: What went well for me last year? What accomplishments did I have? How did I improve my life? What do I wish I had taken more time for?
- Choose one thing at a time to focus on: Be intentional with your list of to-do’s. When making goals ask why you want to accomplish one specific thing and work towards that.
- Start a gratitude journal: Journaling is an amazing practice and habit to get into. One amazing way to practice journaling is to create a gratitude journal. Write down one thing daily that you were thankful for even if it’s as simple as not being stuck in traffic that day. In practicing gratitude you’ll start to notice you’ll look at the world a little differently.
- Try something new: Trying new things will open your eyes to new opportunities. Try out a new sport like pickleball or a new type of exercise like Zumba. You might even find a new hobby that you love!
- Write a personal mission statement or mantra: Do you have a mantra for the type of person you want to show up as? Create one for the new year and remind yourself of it daily.
- Slow down to gain momentum: Take some time everyday to think, plan, and slow down. You’ll become more aware of your dreams, and goals and you’ll gain clarity to move forward.
- Make new connections: Attend a networking event or reconnect with an old friend. Meeting with others will open new doors, and provide new perspectives.
If you want any help creating new habits, shifting your mindset, or improving your self care, check out private coaching with Kitty. She can help you create lasting changes with ease! Schedule your complimentary 30 minute discovery call!
No Interruptions Day
December 31st is No Interruptions Day! Make a conscious effort today to limit interruptions. When you learn to redirect your focus towards completing tasks you can be more mindful about your actions and the work that you are getting done.
Minimizing interruptions is a great way to be more mindful and productive during your day. Today is No Interruptions Day so what better day than today to start to change some of your habits to become less distracted. Check out our ideas below to increase your focus:
- Minimize interruptions – phone on airplane / turn off notifications
- If you’re feeling overwhelmed or frazzled take a short break – go for a walk, or stretch the movement away from your desk will feel great and reset your mind
- Make a list: Having a list of items that you’ll focus on will help you stay on track.
- Focus on one thing at a time: Multitasking used to be all the rage but studies have shown that isn’t very effective. Set a time to focus on one task at a time, make it a priority to get as much done as you can in the allotted time you’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish!
- Declutter your space: Having a cluttered space can impact your focus and make it harder to concentrate. Take a few minutes to clean up extra clutter before your work day to eliminate distractions in your environment.
- Take short breaks: Setting time blocks and working short breaks into your schedule will increase your productivity and focus.
Take today to really reflect on how you are spending your time. Are you letting too many distractions get in the way of your work? Following some of the simple tips that we outlined above will really help kick off your productivity and bring more focus and mindfulness to all aspects of your life.
Quick Self Awareness Exercise to Increase Happiness & Satisfaction
We spend too much of our lives living on autopilot, we are not consciously aware of our thoughts, emotions, and actions – they just seem to happen sometimes. We spend up to 95% of our lives in autopilot mode so the vast majority of our thoughts are not conscious. Unfortunately that means that most of our thoughts go unchecked and that’s where our limiting beliefs can negatively impact us. These thoughts are often insidious – the ones that are telling us we are not enough, the thoughts that are judging others and picking situations apart.
The best way to reduce the unchecked thoughts and limiting beliefs is by bringing conscious awareness back to our day. When we have awareness of our thoughts and emotions we can start to work on changing them to be more positive words and releasing our limiting beliefs. The best way to bring awareness back to our day is to notice what we’re noticing. Here’s an exercise that really helps with that!
“Notice what You’re Noticing”
Pause for 1 minute to ask & jot down answers:
What am I thinking about right now?
What am I feeling right now?
This is a quick exercise you can do a few times a day that dramatically increases your self awareness around your thoughts and emotions. There are a few ways to remember to do this exercise, and my favorite is to set a phone alarm to go off randomly throughout the day. When the alarm goes off, I take 1 minute to do this exercise. Another great time to do this is when you wash your hands and look in the mirror because this is a great time to check in with yourself!
Ask these questions with open hearted curiosity and without judging yourself where you are. Remember to show yourself some grace! This is a practice of self awareness and even the most self aware people will still find themselves experiencing negative thoughts and emotions. So any time you find yourself thinking or feeling something you don’t want to, instead of being upset with yourself that you’re feeling those things, take a deep breath! Thank yourself for noticing that you’re in a place where you don’t want to be and intentionally shift your focus to the thoughts and emotions that you do want to have. If you get upset with yourself, that is negative reinforcement, which only creates a situation that makes you want to stop doing the exercise. If you kindly thank yourself for noticing when you’re out of alignment, it is positive reinforcement to continue this journey of increasing your self awareness.
This simple exercise helps us increase our self awareness which helps us shift our mindset to be more positive, allows us to be more present, and increases happiness and satisfaction with life!
Self awareness journey has no destination so remember to enjoy the ride! And if you find yourself in need of more support around self awareness, thoughts, emotions, or limiting beliefs, feel free to reach out to Kitty for support (here is a link to a 30 minute complimentary discovery call)!
September is Self-Improvement Month!
Self-improvement is so important! The most successful people and leaders in the world work on themselves and are always focused on self-improvement. Working on self-improvement helps enhance strengths, improves mental health, and can heal relationships.
Here are a few tips for self-improvement:
- Go for a walk or exercise. Getting some exercise during your day will improve your mental health, and can really improve how you overall show up for yourself and others.
- Meditate. Slowing down with meditation is a great way to improve self-awareness and self-esteem. Lower your stress, anxiety and foster kindness through meditation.
- Read more books. Reading will help keep your brain sharp and improve overall brain health.
- Adjust your diet. Incorporate more fruits and veggies and eliminate processed foods as much as possible. Making small tweaks towards a healthy diet creates big results in your physical and mental/emotional health!
- Schedule a private coaching session with Kitty. If you’re feeling like you need an extra boost, schedule a private coaching session with Kitty can really help you get on the right track!
Prosper Where You Are Planted!
September is Prosper Where You Are Planted Month. The saying “prosper where you are planted” means to accept your present situation and to take advantage of all the opportunities around you. That is easier said than done! We often find ourselves resisting the current situation and thinking to ourselves “the future will be better when…” This is a slippery slope that actually prevents us from having what we want. Oftentimes when people are unhappy in life they’re focusing on the negative aspects of their situation. Let’s use this month to rewrite our narratives. Let’s break free from the constraints of waiting for the “perfect” moment and start seeing the potential within each moment. It’s a shift in perspective that empowers us to cultivate a garden of opportunity right where we stand, embracing the gifts that our present situation offers. With practice, we have the power to transform adversity into growth and flourish in even the most unexpected circumstances. Life’s twists and turns might not always lead us down the path we envisioned, but they can lead us towards remarkable personal growth and resilience.
Here are some tips on how you can learn how to thrive and prosper where you are planted!
How to Thrive:
Step 1: Shift your mindset to an attitude of gratitude. Be grateful for everything in your life, even the negative things. When you’re in a tough situation, be grateful for the lessons it’s teaching you and the opportunity to grow. I challenge you to take any negative thing in your life and find 3 positives that have come out of it!
Step 2: Be present! Usually when we’re feeling upset it’s because we’re regretting the past or worrying about the future. Take some deep breaths and realize how amazing it is that you’re alive right now. When you focus on the present moment, most of your negative emotions will just fall away. The easiest way to focus on the present is to focus on your breath as it goes in and out of your nose.
Step 3: Look for opportunities around you. This is often tricky when you’re feeling negative emotions, so get creative! Make a list of 10 opportunities that are available to you right now in the situation you’re working through. It might feel like a stretch to get to 10, but I know you can if you brainstorm! This may involve doing new things, taking risks and getting out of your comfort zone. It may also involve making connections, asking for help and working diligently.
Step 4: Make the most of each day. Don’t let yourself get stuck in procrastination, fear, anxiety or any other negative emotion! Be a positive force in the world by bringing positivity into your life and the lives of others! Brainstorm 5 ways that you take action in the day and get moving on them! They can be little things, like smiling at people on the street as you walk by.
When you focus on these 4 steps, you will bloom in your life and grow into the person you want to become!
I just want to note that this is easier said than done because sometimes it’s hard not to be negative! Our brains are actually conditioned to focus on the negative evolutionarily, because having an eye on the things that are “wrong” in the situation – like a sabertooth tiger on the other side of the field – actually kept you alive. Unfortunately this means that we will naturally tend to focus on and talk about what we don’t like instead of what we do like. Training your brain to focus on the positive can be tricky without guidance. It’s important to show yourself a lot of grace while you’re practicing on improving your mindset. If you are having trouble shifting your mindset or feeling stuck and want some support to prosper in your current circumstances, then check out the EVOX. It’s a biofeedback device that literally rewires your brain for more happiness and success!
To learn more about how Kitty can help you make your lemons in life into lemonade, book a free discovery call.
Benefits of Grounding
Grounding is GREAT!
Getting into nature is so relaxing and balancing. Nature is the ultimate stress reducer! Grounding, sometimes called earthing is simple – it is getting your skin to touch the ground. You can do this by walking barefoot, laying on the ground, wading in shallow water, hugging a tree, gardening and getting bare hands into the dirt. If you ever done these things, you have probably noticed how much the help you chill out and relax. But if you’re like me, you have probably wondered how it works! So here is a short explanation – We are bioelectrical beings living on an electrical planet. Your body operates electrically. All of your cells transmit multiple frequencies that run, for example, your heart, immune system, muscles, and nervous system. The act of grounding is absorbing electrons from the earth and releasing excess protons into mother earth.
The benefits of grounding are amazing! Grounding is the most effective and quickest acting stress reduction technique I have ever found because it supports our mental, physical and emotional health! It benefits many body functions and has the following effects:
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- Reduces inflammation
- Decreases chronic fatigue & chronic pain
- Boosts mood, reduces anxiety & depression
- Reduces stress levels by normalizing stress hormone levels (cortisol)
- Improves sleep quality
- Supports cardiovascular health: reduces blood pressure, improves circulation
- Balances hormones & blood sugar; regulates metabolism
- Improves memory & focus
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Of course getting into nature is the best possible way to ground, but sometimes that’s not available to us, like if you live in a crowded metropolitan area with very little grass or it is the dead of winter and there is snow on the ground. Thankfully there are some grounding tools you can use in these times, which include grounding pads, mats, and blankets. This winter I purchased an Earthing Elite Mattress Cover Kit and have been absolutely loving it! I immediately noticed a dramatic increase in my sleep quality. According to my smart watch, I get a lot more REM & deep sleep now that I have the grounding pad!
Go outside and check it out for yourself today!
